Reintegration

That's what my employer is trying to do with me. "Reintegrate" me.

mmm .... I'm not quite sure how they're intending to do this - and if they've been trying to do it for the last year or so, it hasn't been successful so far, and I doubt that it will be successful in the future.

In the Netherlands, if an employee is "ill" (for whatever reason that employee is unable to do his/her job), then the employer is not able to sack that employee for two years. The employee is paid (a part of) his/her wages for that entire time. However, if the employee is not fully "reintegrated" at the end of that time, the employer may legally sack the employee.

So that's where I'm at. I'm working part-time (about half-time) and I'm half-way through my two year sick leave. I'm in the middle of the "reintegration" process. I can honestly say it hasn't been a success so far.

Why is it so difficult for people to believe that I am no longer the same person? If Freyja's death changed me significantly, Kees' death nearly destroyed me. I had a complete breakdown. I am in a slow recovery mode. Not surprisingly I do not function at work in the same manner as I used to, and I doubt very much that I will ever function to the same capacity again.

"Reintegration" ... sometimes I want to scream at the world ... sometimes I want to bash people's heads together ... sometimes I just wish that the people around me could walk in my shoes for a short while. Then we could talk about reintegration. Don't they realise that getting out of bed every day, having a shower, getting dressed and going to the office is a major achievement? Don't they realise that getting to sleep at night without trying to solve the world's problems by myself in my head is a HUUUUGGGEEE step. Don't they realise that only waking up 2 or 3 times per night is a good night sleep for me?

If only we could reintegrate that easily ...