The first day of the rest of my life

That is what today is. The first day of the rest of my life.

I didn't fall apart at the crematorium. I was very anxious about that. It was just Craig and I. I needed to support him as much as he was supporting me. And it's difficult to be supportive if you're falling apart.

But I didn't - I didn't fall apart.

Craig looked at Jet and came back to tell me that Jet still looked like Jet. He still looked beautiful - very Jet-like. So we got to say goodbye properly - like a family should. We got to be together again, the three of us.

And then we went home to pack away the last bits of Freyja-Kees-Jet clothes and furnishings. Again. For the third time. I remember getting all those things out of storage only a few weeks ago. I blogged about it here.

But that was yesterday, that was the last day of the first part of our lives. Today is first day of the rest of our lives. Today we start building our lives without our children, without any children (except for those in our hearts of course).

Tomorrow we go. We go on our memory trip (as our friend Kerry calls it). We go away for what will hopefully be a healing time together.

I leave you with some photos which our friend Kerry took for us. The photos are of our childrens' grave in Australia. My parents purchased the letters for Jet's name and put them on the grave yesterday - so that he will be remembered along with Freyja and Kees. It looks so beautiful. I'm so glad that they were able to do that for our son.