Many babylost parents spend a lot of time wondering how to remember and honour their special babies. Those babies that they can't hold in their arms. Those babies that will never grow up. Those babies who have special places in our hearts.
Craig and I remember our babies every day ... of course. But every year, on Freyja's special day, and on Kees' special days, we stop and remember them. We remember the joy they brought us, and the sadness which the ends of their lives meant to us. The changes their deaths brought to our lives.
We had hoped that we could celebrate Freyja and Kees' lives with our living son Jet. We had hoped that every year on Freyja and Kees' birthdays we would be able to have a birthday cake and candles to remember Jet's brother and sister with him. But now of course we can't. We won't be able to do that.
Craig and I are not able to celebrate our children's lives yet. Maybe we will be able to do that in years to come. But not yet.
We cannot have a birthday cake for our Freyja, or our Kees. And we haven't had to have one yet for our sweet Jet. It's too hard. Any joy we ever had for these children is still over-shadowed by the pain and sadness and grief we have in our hearts for them now.
Maybe we will never be able to have birthday cakes for our children. That's quite possible. Maybe that was a dream that belonged with Jet. And now with Jet gone, that's one of the dreams that has gone with him.
:::
The reason why I was thinking about this today is because Birni and Shane are honouring their son Ciaran's first birthday. And Lindsay is honouring her daughter Zoe's second birthday.
I am remembering and honouring them with you.
4 comments:
Thank you Mirne. I am so glad that you invited me to read again. I caught up on what I haven't read just now.
I'm so sorry for how you are being treated. No one in my family called or e-mailed me about Zoe's birthday, only blog-friends. I went to my mom's house and she had a few cards from family stating (thinking of you and your's) WTF? Like you said, I was her mother, I had to remove life support, why are they sending HER cards?
People are messed up and selfish. Probably me as well. I promise that the only reason I haven't sent you your package (which contains more than just a bear) is because Kenny was layed off for two weeks, so we've gone a month without a paycheck.
Know that I still think of you every day. I wonder how you and Craig are managing without your sweet babies..all three of them.
You'll get some mail from me soon. I hope it comes when you need a smile.
Thank you for remembering my zoe..
Much love,
Lindsay
Sending lots of love. To you and to Lindsay as well. Remembering your babies and mine. xoxo
I'm so sorry that Jet will not be there with you and Craig to celebrate Kees' and Freyja's birthdays.
I don't why people send sympathy cards to our parents and not to us who are the parents of the child, or children, who died. It does seem strange.
Remembering your three precious children, Ciaran and Zoe-Beth. xo
Thankyou Mirne xxx
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