We are amazed at the outpouring of love from everyone who is reading my blog. Thank you for your messages of love and support. Craig and I are overwhelmed by everything, including your messages.
I have received requests from some of you for my street address. If you would like to send me an email with "address" in the subject header, I shall send my address to you.
Having already lost Freyja and Kees, Jet's death is like a fucking devastation of our entire lives. We had pinned so much hope on this boy's birth and life. My hope for a happy future depended on it. Now happiness doesn't even come into it any more. Survival is all that is left.
A life with no living children. A life with only dead children. Parents of dead children only. Growing old with no children. No possibility of grandchildren.
A life filled with grief. A life with only memories of the short lives of my children. A life of avoiding babies and children on the streets. A life of jealousy. A life of bitterness.
A life spent always wondering WHY WHY WHY????
47 comments:
I have not stopped thinking about you since the loss of your Jet. It is so much more than tragic. So incomprehensible. It's not fair. I'm so sorry.
It's not fair. I have no words..
I'm so sorry
thinking of you
xxxxxxx
Life is so fucking tragic. I am sorry that you are having to go through this pain yet again.
I am sorry that your children aren't here with you.
I am sorry, so very sorry.
I wish wish wish there was something i could do. Something that i could say that would make all this stop for you.
xx
I have been thinking of u both all day since i heard. It is fucking NOT fair....i just REALLY have no idea how u feel. I don't think there are enough words or any words that will help at all, all i can say is i'm so sorry xoxoxo
Losing 1 baby is hard enough, i know that pain...losing 3 is just OMFG JUST HORRIFC xoxo
i have to be honest here.. to tell you what honestly just came out of my mouth. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! i am thunderstruck. "im sorry" could not possibly be any more insignificant. please, Dear God.. what happened???
I can't begin to imagine. Holding you in my heart xxx
Awake, middle of the night here, and thoughts are with you Mirne and Craig. Oh how we all wanted this happiness for you - a joyful time after all you've endured. Could never have imagined this.
Holding you close.
I cannot comprehend that this has happened.... I cannot fathom that devastation like this could be possible. I wish you nothing but peace, and I hope that somehow, someday, you find it. In the meantime, my love and my thoughts are with you. For what that's worth.
I so wish the hospital could give you answers Mirne. Are they looking deeper? Or is the answer simply a third strike of lightning? It is just horrific.
xx
Mirne and Craig I have no words of comfort to give you this is incomprehensible to me...your 3 beautiful children in heaven will help you to get through this. You don't deserve this and it is really unfair. My heart breaks at what you are going through. I first met you at births when you lost Freyja...as Mum of an angel I feel your pain and wish I could give you some strength to get through the painful minutes, hours and days ahead of you. with my thoughts and prayers - Su (Mum of angel Anjali)
Words just feel so inadequate, Mirne. Tragic is the tip of it. Hell seems to get close, and yet to live it...I cannot know the depth of pain you are in, though the loss of my own daughter can help me understand a little bit. It is the worst fucking thing I have heard. I am sending you love, though, and constant thoughts. Jet, you and Craig have been a constant, steady refrain since hearing your news. With love.
No words... just abiding with you and hearing you loud and clear. Sending love, as much as I can possibly blow across the sea.
thinking of you, holding you in our hearts and minds. I am just so so sorry. Suz xxx
will they find out why?/ it is so unusal for this to happen and so tragic
A pathologist has already performed a section. The initial results show nothing out of the ordinary - Jet was a normal, healthy baby boy. The results for the genetic and other testing will take about 3-4 months. I fully expect it will be something really stupid like a flu or a cold or some such stupid thing. Just like with Kees.
So incredibly sorry for you unbelievable loss...I couldn't believe it as I was reading your posts....
I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Condolences and hugs from south africa. Holding you in ours hearts.
I spent all day yesterday wishing that I had a rewind button. I want so badly to rewind it and stop it, as I'm sure you do too.
It really is more than tragic. Again, I'm so sorry...
Lindsay
mirne, thinking of you again so much this morning. there are really no words - no, tragic doesn't begin to cover it. we are holding you from afar... xo
Mirne - I have not stopped thinking about you. If only all of us grieving with you could take just the tiniest bit of your pain away...
Is it possible that they were wrong about Kees and that somehow all three of your children's deaths are related?! It just doesn't seem possible that one person could have three of the most terrible (random) things in the world happen to them.
Oh Mirne...I agree ths is so much more than tragic. xx
Oh, I just cannot believe this happened. I am so, so sorry. I wish there was some way to just say NO to it. I am so sorry. I can't believe it.
WHAT!!??!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is NOT POSSIBLE! This defies every statistic imaginable!
Mirne, I know, I KNOW you must be demanding an answer. There has to be an answer! One, okay. Two... maybe. THREE babies gone?! Three!?!? No freaking way. NO WAY. There's something going on, some genetic thing. something maybe that can be fixed.
I know you're not in the US but maybe an inquiry to some sort of show like "medical mysteries" or something. Maybe even to find a doctor there who could look for answers for you.
Oh damnit.
I'm so not helping. I just want to FIX it, and I can't. It's all so broken and I'm so so so sooooooooooo heartbroken for you I can't even speak. The loss is horrific and I so want to fix it for you. I'm so sorry. I can't... there aren't words.
Scratch what I said... I won't erase it so maybe you can come back to it later when you're not leaking milk and tears and everything else for your little Jet... when it might be helpful, then...
I know it's not now...
Now there's just blackness and aching and a huge hole, another gigantic hole nothing could ever fill and I know you must feel lost and drowning and ... Oh Mirne. I wish I could fix it.
SO much love and support to you both. So very much.
xoxoxoxox
Hi Mirne,
Haven't stopped thinking about you and Craig and your children. We are so grieved for you.
Love,
Rhonda
I have never posted here but have been silently rooting from the sidelines. This is beyond tragic but perhaps even more tragic is that you have an entire group of people across multiple continents who would hang the sun and the moon if it meant they could fix this....and they can't. We can just offer our most sincere but inadequate condolences.
I have been thinking of you constantly since I heard the news. I feel so frustrated that there is nothing I can do to help you. I simply cannot fathom how you must be feeling. I hope they can find some answers for you that may eventually offer you some small measure of peace. I just wish there was something I could do to erase the past couple days and fix things. I am so, so very sorry, though that doesn't even scratch the surface of what I am feeling for you and Craig. If there is any way we can help, anything we can do... I hold you both tenderly in my heart. From the depths of my very soul, I am so sorry. I will never forget your beautiful children.
My heart aches for you and Craig. I don't understand how this can happen to one family 3 times. There are no words. I am so so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS)) I wish I could sit with you and hold you while you cry. I want to comfort you and don't know how.
I just have no words, Mirne. My heart just breaks for you. I am thinking of you and Craig and all your three beautiful children. And abiding with you....
I was just checking in to see if Jet was here and...I don't know what to say. I lost my babies too and I still don't know what to say. This isn't fair. It's beyond awful. I want to be with you IRL and hold your hand and tell you that this sucks and I'm so sorry. I can do that long distance, I guess. This sucks and I'm just so incredibly sorry.
Still thinking of you, crying for you, wishing things were different.
Oh, Mirne. I just found out and I am heartbroken for you and Craig. I am thinking of you and sending so much love. Life is so goddamn unfair and it makes me angry. I wish I was there so I could give you a real, live hug but I'm sending virtual ones instead. xoxoxo
Thinking of you and Craig.
It is incomprehensible.
I just can't understand.
Remembering Freyja, Kees and Jet.
I am at work and still cannot stop thinking of you. Know that I am grieving with you. It brings me to tears and seeing Jet's beautiful face only makes it worse. I don't know what to say. I know there is nothing I can say really. Now I must go because I am just rambling because my mind cannot comprehend what has happened to you.
Enormous hugs to you.
You were the last thoughts when I went to bed last night, and the first thoughts when I woke up this morning. I can't stop thinking of you two, how awful this is. How unfair the universe has been to you two, and how you don't deserve this. All I can do is grieve with you, and curse the universe.
I'm so sorry - I haven't even seen your blog until today, and I'm blown away by what you have been through. I can't even begin to imagine your pain. You are in my thoughts, and even my prayers (and I'm not one who prays).
Asking myself, "why" over and over again. You're constantly on my mind and I'm holding you and your babies as close as possible in my heart.
I'm so sorry.. so very very sorry. :(
Orphaned parents... That is how I've always felt. And it is all the more sad because no one knows how to handle us.
Sending you so many hugs... So many...
I'm just a stranger to you, but I can't help but reach out to tell you that I am so sorry for this devastating loss. I will be holding you and your beautiful children in my heart.
I am at a loss for words, this loss is just unfathomable to me. My heart just aches. I send my deepest most heartfelt condolences across the miles.
Aww Jet's pic is so Beautiful xoxoxo I just cannot make sense of this :( I have thought of you guys all night, wondering how, why? WTF?
I know there are NO words that can help.....just know there are so many people here to offer support. Never even met you but i just feel for you both..your Hearts have been ripped out. This is just shit!! xoxoxoxoxoxo
I am...at a loss for words! I am just so sorry for what an ENORMOUS loss you are experiencing.
He was truly BEAUTIFUL and it is just so unfair that you would have to go through this. I wish there was something I could say that would make it all better...My heart is just broken for you!
I am sending you all the prayers, positive thoughts, hugs and anything else I can think of your way.
xxooxxooxxoo
I am so utterly saddened by this terrible injustice. This IS more than just tragic, it's a travesty. Wish I could change it more than anything for you all....sending my love.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your losses. I've lost two babies of my own. It's devastating and no words can make it better. I'm sending you thoughts and prayers.
I can only say I am so sorry to hear this news (from Glow in the Woods). my heart is devastated for you.
rpm
I'm so sorry. Thinking of you
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